in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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