beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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