He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
