she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
