dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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