just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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