Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
