I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
