I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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