READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
