so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize