i jhust puked up my retainher.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
