Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
