Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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