too bad you live with your parents still
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
