Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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