Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
