I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
