you would pick up someone in the library
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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