I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
