I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
