I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
