how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
