I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you inspire me to be a worse person
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
