That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
