I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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