I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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