If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
