Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
