During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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