your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
