I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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