the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
