I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
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