Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
