what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I could fuck to npr.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
