brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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