He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
