did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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