Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
