I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
