cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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