And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
