Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
