So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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