I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
