I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
