I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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