yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
