your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
