Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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