Need sex. Gaining weight.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
