You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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