How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
pray to the hookup gods
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
