does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
