these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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